I DIDN'T SAY HELLO

I heard your voice "godfather"
you said hello...
and then all the scenes flashed in my minds eye.

the late night calls..
the laughter
tears
secrets shared...

my fingers shook...
i wondered???
what would i say?

how would i pick up from where we left off..
if we did ever "leave off" somewhere...
anywhere

"Godfather"...
i still hold on...
a part of me still waits..
only you can do that impersonation...
only you came close to home.

Did i mess it up?
or did "it" mess it up?

One part of me always remembers
never forgets...

the future plans..
my looks,your brains..

we didn't want your looks and my brains
or else they would be seriously disadvantaged as you joked...

then "it" happened.

"Godfather"
i am still angry...

When i can i still listen to old conversations recorded..

"Godfather"
i am so sorry...

it was I who called...
who hung up...

and didn't say hello...

because i was scared...
not of you...
but of the fact that there might be no point..

no point in starting something we won't finish again..
no point in opening up this old wound....

so i didn't say hello...
i just kept quiet,

it was just a few seconds..
but felt like eternity

then i hung up...

sincerely

"grumpy"